Thinking about how to gift Tabu? I’ve heard whispers that it’s top of mind this holiday season and I can’t tell you how much joy that brings me.
So, let me start by saying thank you. Thank you for following our story and for caring so much about a woman in your life that you’re willing to consider the gift of sexual wellness – confronting a pretty meaty taboo head on.
And, let me state the obvious: I know this is a wildly uncomfortable topic. I, for one, have never really been comfortable talking about sex. My first real birds and the bees talk with my mom came just this year, right before my 30th birthday. I learned some outrageous facts about how prevalent the sexual health side effects of menopause are from a friend and I almost didn’t believe it. Figures like 90% of post-menopausal women can experience painful sex due to vaginal dryness and atrophy, leading to 50% of women giving up on their sex lives altogether in their 50s. So, after hearing this and fact-checking the figures (feels like a 2020 requirement, yeah?), I did what anyone would do. I texted my mom. Without context, I wrote, “Hey, do you or your friends have pain or discomfort during sex?” To which she replied, “HAHAHAHAH…,” for at least a full 30 seconds. But, once we got over the absurdity of the question, we had a really sobering conversation. She knew exactly what was happening to her body. Admitted it was not just physical, but deeply emotional, too. I was stunned. Not only was I talking to my Muslim, Middle Eastern mother about sex for the first time, but I was ashamed that even though I talk to her every single day, I had no idea she was hurting.
Then, I became obsessed. Truly. I talked to anyone and everyone who would give me the time of day from my aunts, family friends, and future mother-in-law, to OB-GYNs, therapists, and midwives. Most of my conversations with women ended in tears. Discussions around failed treatments for vaginal atrophy and mood swings would inevitably lead to how they felt embarrassed, invisible, and like they were losing a part of themselves. You may be thinking, “Wait – can’t hormones fix all of this?” For some people, hormones can be incredibly helpful. For others, it’s simply not an option. Whether it’s due to medical concerns, family history, or because they just don’t want to. The thing that further rocked my world was hearing physician after physician, therapist after therapist, say that peri-to post-menopausal women should go out and buy a vibrator, lubricant, and commit to a sexual wellness routine. These “tools” help strengthen your vaginal muscles, improve natural lubrication, and provide a host of physical and emotional benefits. While historically I may have been uncomfortable talking about sex, I of course knew that sexual health was a part of overall health and recognized that that fact wouldn’t just magically disappear with age. I didn’t, however, realize how restorative and healing it could be as we get older and thought this was something that needed to be shared.
Let’s back up though. My mom can’t say the word “vibrator” out loud let alone feel comfortable buying one online. So, my friends, I started Tabu. I can assure you it’s still not easy for my parents to tell their friends that their daughter founded a sexual wellness company for women who age, but honestly, it feels like the most important thing I’ve ever done. That out-of-the-blue, wonderfully taboo question led to a conversation I wouldn’t trade for the world. I truly feel closer to my mom than I ever have before. Not because I know the intimate details of her sex life (for the record, I most definitely don’t!), but because by asking the question, I signaled to her that it matters. That her relationship with herself and her husband matter. And that her sexual health doesn’t have an expiration date.
I started Tabu for our moms, aunts, friends, and future selves. I know this can seem like a hard, awkward, and impossible conversation, but I promise – it’s worth it.
I decided to ask some members why they bought Tabu. Whether it was a gift for mom, aunt, grandma, or themselves – their stories are everything.
Gave Tabu to herself and her mom
Gave Tabu to her aunt
Gave Tabu to herself and her grandma
Gave Tabu to herself
To see these members and others share their stories, follow us on Instagram at @heytabu and on Facebook.
And finally, some practical steps you can take when gifting. For some women, the kit will just make sense and won’t need much explanation. For others, a little context might go a long way. (And, when you start feeling unsure, just imagine the number of people that will get the gift of Manscaped this year and have zero qualms about it…)
Here’s how I would approach gifting Tabu or any kind of sexual wellness product this season:
If you haven’t ordered your Tabu kit yet, use code WORTHIT at checkout and receive 25% off until December 10th.